The Elusive “One”

This is kind of a chain from my previous post. 

It’s rather humorous that no matter what stage of your life you’re in, the topic of conversation never seems to change.  Semi recently, I went to reunion of friends, and after 4 years out of college, 30+ years of education between all of us, being in totally different and supposedly “more mature” stages of life, the conversation still focused on that one topic that fascinates everybody that has a penis: women.

God.  It never ends.  I go to my tutoring center, and everyday my little tutoring center kids make fun of me for still being single.  One of them, as a matter of fact, even went as far as to say “what the heck is wrong with you”.  If that’s not bad enough, a couple of my kids (this is semi disturbing), were making fun of me and calling me a forty year old virgin.  WTF!? 

WTF!???

It’s quite sad that I buy into this whole social phenomenon.  My blogposts only get top notch action when I post about mindless, needless, pointless relationship stuff.  Everyone seems to have a witty comment to share when that happens.  When it’s about something else, however…my blog gets no action.  Oh man…I really shouldn’t sell myself out like this…

And yet, here I am.  1:11 AM in the morning, thinking.  Not necessarily about “her”, per say.  But the whole phenomenon of dating in general.  When you think about dating, it’s actually a pretty damned incredible concept, especially when you consider the concept of marriage.  There are 6 billion people on this planet.  And somehow, in the mix and chaos of all these people, you’re somehow supposed to find that “one” person that is supposedly right for you.  Then, to top it off, you have to make that relationship work for YEARS and YEARS to come. 

It’s just ridiculous.  The math, I’m sure, is astronomical.  Any married couple you ever meet, the odds of that happening were so minutely small, that literally the only word to describe it is “miracle”.  Then factor in the reality that most marriages (especially in the 21st century) fail, thereby constituting any married couple you meet that have been together for longer than twenty years, AN F’ING Miracle. 

No knock on my parents.  I think they are great.  But sometimes, I see them together and I can’t help but wonder how they made it this far.  The relationship had so many breaking points…so many moments where it could have collapsed.  There was even a time where I thought it was officially over while I was in undergrad…and yet somehow, they’re still together.  They’re still in “love”.  Maybe not so much the romantic love.  In fact, in my head, my parents never had sex and there is no such thing as romantic love for them.  Why might I say that?  CAUSE IF THEY DO THAT’S JUST GROSS.

Anyways, but seriously…HOW DOES THIS MARRIAGE THING ACTUALLY WORK?  I know that you start off hot, romantically super charged with all the flowers, chocolates, anniversaries, and dates.  But then so many relationships just fizzle out.  Jadedness starts to kick in.  All the uglies are on full display.  Throw in the crux of financial hardship, and BAM.  It’s pretty much fighting and yelling all day…

When you think about the statistics and the hardships that’ll probably come with dating, it’s just mind boggling.  Especially when you realize how muchpressure it must be for both sides.  I mean…I’m going to belong to ONE WOMAN for the rest of my life.  And that ONE WOMAN is going to belong to me for the rest of my life…sometimes I feel like I won’t measure up to those expectations.  God.  There’s so much to live up to!  AN ENTIRE lifetime of having to be the most amazing guy that I can be for the woman that I love…

I understand what Paul was saying when he brought up the whole celibacy bit.

And yet…

I’m still thinking about her.  That one.  The one.  The one I’m going to spend the rest of my life with.  The one that I’m going to be able to love unabashedly, and have her love me back in the same way.  The one that I’m going to weather all the good times, all the bad times…just life in general, together with.  The one that’ll know everything about me, through and through…she may not always have romantic feelings for me, in the traditional sense of the word…

But something probably much stronger than that will take form, and take place.  A love that’s more powerful than the superficial crap that bursts into the scene at the start.  It’s quiet, yes.  Not as passionate and charismatic, maybe.  But it’s still there.  Powerful, provocative, and enduring…

That after 40 years of being married.  You still hold hands at the movie theatre.  And you still cuddle up next to the fireplace when it’s cold…

Man.  I want to share that with someone. 

Besides.  I can’t wait to join the married couples at church that grow up and mature as far as conversational topic is concerned.  I can’t wait till we’re all sitting around one day, talking in the most sophisticated manner about the most interesting subject for married couples.  Sex.