Movie Fest

I don’t think I’d normally do a post like this.  However, with the realization that I’ve very little else to do besides work endless and stupid hours while running my own business in a turmoil and hectic economy, I figure writing something to get everyone pumped up and excited for the month of May (there are a plethora of amazing movies coming out) might be a semi-decent use of my time.  So with that let me give you a list of the top 5 movies that I am absolutely excited for this coming May.  This is going to be a GREAT MONTH for movies, and I absolutely need to spread my enthusiasm for the awesomeness of this month. 

#5: Battle for Terra, May 1st

Now I know that this is a probably one of those “sleeper” movies that not too many people are going to know about because until I watched Monsters vs. Aliens (which was an all around pretty good movie) even I had no idea about this one.  However, Battle for Terra promises to be not only a great 3d experience (which, btw, the 3d movies I’ve been watching lately have been doing a TERRIFIC job of optimizing that once negligible feature) but also a great storyline: humanity is on the brink of destruction because we are running out of oxygen, so in order to stay alive we must invade another planet and take over their world.  This is a very interesting movie idea, and I couldn’t help but chuckle at the irony and role reversal the film is trying to achieve.  I mean, it’s definitely going to beat the hell out of recent “alien movies” that have come out like Indian Jones 4 and The Knowing.  Honestly, whoever decided to throw aliens into the plot of Indian Jones 4 and The Knowing deserves to be SHOT. 

#4. X-Men Origins, May 1st

Okay honestly, the previews for this movie looked ABSOLUTELY STUPID.  Okay, I just watched it again and NEVERMIND IT LOOKS AWESOME.  I thought at first it might be overdone, like wayyyyy too much effort (Think Matrix 2 and 3…fail).  However, surprisingly it has been holding up VERY well in Rotten Tomatoes.  And because Rotten Tomatoes is basically my “movie bible”, I believe everything it says, no questions asked.  The way I generally look at it, if either the critics or the user reviews are over 70%, it’s going to be a pretty good movie.  X-Men Origins, with six votes so far, is a sparkling 100%.  I’m sure that’ll drop to somewhere around the 70-80% mark, but I still think this movie overall will be solid.  It’s definitely not a “sure-fire” lock for a great movie, but I think it’s going to be worth watching.  If I were you, I’d keep an eye out on Rotten Tomatoes and see how it fares once most of the critics have seen it.  As for me, I’m probably going to catch this one on opening day because…well…I’m a loser with no life and friends and only my mom and sister to hang out with.  Woe is me.

#3. Star Trek, May 8th

OKAY.  I AM NOT A BIG TREKKIE.  As much of a nerd as I am, I HAVE NOT degraded myself to so low a level that I will endorse the Star Trek franchise, or learn everything there is to know about William Shatner and pee myself everytime I see him on TV.  No, I do not salivate over the thought of meeting him.  HOWEVER, after watching this trailer and seeing the early reviews, I HAVE GOT TO SAY THAT I AM COMPLETELY STOKED for Star Trek.  JJ Abrams seriously pimped out the Star Trek series and I seriously think this one is going to be as exciting and revitalizing to the franchise as Batman Begins was to the Batman Franchise.  Pretty soon, I’m going to have to go to Star Trek conventions in my Star Trek suit, be forty years old and still living with my mom without a wife, and believe that UFO’s really are going to invade and take over the earth one day.  The fall is big for those who get sucked into the Star Trek world. 

#2. Up, May 29th

Okay, the 1 and 2 spot were VERY tough for me.  Pixar has got to be one of the best movie companies of all time.  Their work is AMAZINGLY solid, with many of their films probably in my top twenty films of all time.  Monster’s Inc is seriously AMAZING.  However, as funny as this fat little kid looks like he will be, NO ONE CAN BEAT Boo from Monster’s INC.  SHE IS THE BEST EVEN THOUGH SHE DOES NOTHING THAT IS FUNNY AT ALL.  With Pixar, they’ve set the bar SOO high on other movies that it seems almost impossible that they can make a movie better than some of the previous ones that they have made.  I think currently my list of “favorites” is:

1. Monster’s Inc, 2. Ratatouille, 3. The Incredibles, 4. Toy Story 1-2, 5. Finding Nemo, 6. Wall-E, 7. Cars, 8. Bug’s Life

When such a quality movie like Finding Nemo is in fifth place, you know you’ve made some pretty freaking damn good movies.  Kudos to Pixar and especially Steve Jobs who has done an amazing job with both Apple and Pixar.  It will be a very sad day when you die, man.  Good thing I’m a PC guy.

#1. Terminator Salvation, May 21st

DAMN.  DAMN.  HOLY FREAKING DAMN.  ARE YOU NOT EXCITED!?  DID YOU NOT JUST WATCH THE SAME TRAILER I JUST WATCHED?  OMG!!!  FINALLY A TERMINATOR MOVIE WITHOUT FREAKING ARNOLD.  It’s been a LONG TIME COMING.  Christian Bale is such a stud, besides his ungodly cussing rampage on set, HE IS THE MAN.  “IF WE STAY THE COURSE.  WE ARE DEAD.  WE ARE ALLLL DEAD!”  DAYUM!!!! 

What a stud.  If I had a girlfriend and she left me for Christian Bale I’d forgive her BECAUSE I KNOW THE LADDER THEORY.  Although.  I’m pretty sure Christian Bale’s not really into the “imaginary girl” thing.  I swear Mr. Bale, if you could see her you’d think she’s hot too…

Now…to go make friends I can watch the movies with that aren’t invisible to everyone but myself.