Will Be Gone for Three Days..

Hey all, just wanted to make the announcement that I will be at Jaeson’s speaking conference for the next three days.  Keep us in prayers, especially Jaeson, as he preaches and revival falls in Korea .  Also, don’t expect a new post from me until then…but trust me, the next post I have in mind will be quite entertaining.  I have some secrets to reveal then.

Take care, and until next time.

Korea comes to LIFE: The “Night” scene.

Sorry to all those who have been faithfully checking my blog for the post.  I realize with great sadness that this post is a day late than I promised…however, these past few days have been so action packed that it’s been hard to sit down and just journal everything that’s been going on!  Craziness!  So crazy, IN FACT, that I can’t even blog about half of the stuff I did these past few days, because if I did…okay, we’ll stop there.  (don’t worry, it’s not THAT scandalous).  (All of you guys who blow this out of proportion are DRAMA KINGS AND QUEENS!)  But I want to say that EVEN if you try and coerce me, you will never get the full inside scoop-yet.

I gotta say.  Korea has COME to life these past few days for me.  I’ve been going out every night, and in fact, I even went clubbing…*gasp*.  I needed to at least ONE TIME in my life see what it’s like…*ehem* (or maybe that’s just my excuse to say that I wanted to go).  I have got to tell you.  It was one hell of an experience.  There were strobe lights CONSTANTLY going off during the whole experience…and if you’ve ever really walked in a room with constant strobe light you know what i’m talking about–it’s INSANE!  I think they purposely do it so that they can hide their ug…urhm.  That’s kind of jacked, ill stop there.

No but seriously.  It’s so hard to tell what you’re doing, and with who, and how, and huh?, and why is this hand touching my butt, and what the flip what’s going on it’s a man! (dangit why couldn’t it be a girl…jk…) and dang…it’s utter chaos!  Luckily for me, I went with a group of friends who knew what they were doing, so for the most part, the experience was smooth.  All I did was stand around, dance occassionally…*ehem*…and follow the people who knew what they were doing around. 

After that, though, the subway was long closed (I AM A REBEL!).  And so the only other option is to take the cab.  I went over to one of my friend’s house to spend a night, and dude the cab ride was INSANE.  NO JOKE!  THIS DRIVER RAN AT LEAST 6 RED LIGHTS and sped the WHOLE way back.  Honestly, I would have been scared for my life, other than the fact that it seemed like he did it every single day of his life!  Not to mention, he was making small chat with me about how he wanted to come to America (i’m sure a PLOY to try to get us to tip him), but still…man…Taxi drivers here are intense!

And I end with this–I realize this was a shorter post, but trust me, there’ll be MUCH more details to fill everyone in on in the days to come…the EPITOME of “Korea’s” couple culture. 

A TWOSOME PLACE!?  WTH?  HAHAHA.  Dude but this place is no joke.  Some of the MOST BOMB Cakes I have ever seen (i have yet to taste them…), and some REALLY good coffee/dessert stuff.  HOWEVER, EVERY table is equipped with ONLY TWO seats.  !!!!  It’s ridiculous!  I don’t know how a single person would leave Korea, sane.  Ask David…he’s LOSING HIS MIND!!!  All the tables are littered with couples doing their cheesy when watching but awesome when experiencing couple stuff.  Like…feeding each other whipped cream…licking whip cream off the others lips-erhm, okay maybe not that far.  *BARF*.  (actually, inside i’m secretly depressed and jealous…David a LOT more than I am though…)

Korea’s fun.  It’s come to life for me, but at the same time, I’ve been really seeking God for direction of WHY I’m here, and if it’s more than just a vacation for me!  Hopefully a door opens. 

Take care, miss you all dearly.

PC Bang, Thou art my only friend…

Wassup my chums.  I will probably be aiming to update this little blog of an experience every two to three days or so.  So check in from time to time to see how my trip in Korea has been!  I have got to say that I have grown quite fond of this PC Bang.  I mean, I realize fully that that is one quite nerdy thing to say-while the “cool” people are raving over the 3 dollars per bottle soju, here I am, with my rental computer, giddy and happy.  I am quite a nerd.  In fact, yesterday, I spent 6 hours with my only friend in Korea…

The problem with this country, as I’ve said before, is that it’s built for couples.  So for us, lonely and coupleless men (I say this with gangs of ugly men all around me), we have to resort to playing video games in the hopes and dreams of ONE DAY, becoming the best!  Then, in this wonderful nation, the ONLY one in which by becoming good at a video game you can be famous, you will have ALL THE WOMEN YOU WANT.  Meet my hero…SlayerS_BoxeR!!!

EVERY SINGLE MAN’S HERO!  This guy is a stud.  He can operate Starcraft at 300 ACTIONS PER MINUTE!  (For those of you who do not know starcraft lingo, this basically means that in 1 minute he can perform 300 “clicks, attacks, movements…etc”).  The average player sits at probably about 70 actions per minute, which is still a lot, you basically do something every second.  I sit at around 110-150.  SlayerS is at 300!!!  MUH SHEE SUH!!  ^^

This guy has a FAN BASE.  Like if he walks around the streets of Korea, people SCREAM his name (girls!) as he walks by.  HOW COOL IS THAT.  Wait till I tell my mom that all my years ditching classes and playing Video Games during college is ACTUALLY GOING TO PAY OFF.  Fame and fortune HERE I COME!

No but really, I am looking forward to August.  Right now, David Chung (who was supposed to be my only friend), found a girl.  So I don’t even see him anymore…actually nevermind, I can’t even joke about it cause knowing the PC Grapevine, everyone is going to be calling, iming, emailing, etc. David to confirm this.  David is working!!!  My other friends are all busy with school…and so here I am.  Dreaming of that studly man, with those beautiful eyes, and shexy lips…eh, obviously I’ve been single FAR too long.

With that being said…Korea hasn’t been too bad.  It’s been nice to not worry about anything for a week or so, just completely resting, and letting my body have a proper rest.  My family here treats me like I’m a king.  They laundry my clothes everyday, cook me FULL Korean meals every morning, and walks me hand and hand to the subway to make sure I get there safe.  It’s insane!  Almost suffocating!  hahaha. 

Today though, I end my entry with this.  “The Sunday Worship Experience”.  I went to Onnuri church (it’s this huge double building mega church with multiple “main sanctuaries” and thousands and thousands of dollars of equipment, staff, and maintenance).  And no joke…on the Sunday Bulletin, it said “Welcome to the Sunday Worship Experience!”

Oh was it an experience INDEED!  Two hours of pure entertainment, that my friend David Chung was blissfully enjoying with closed eyes.  David?  Wait…is he…oh my GOSH, HE’S SLEEPING?  How could he sleep through THIS 1 hour of awesome sermon speaking? 1hour of monotonous, redundant content.  I cannot believe it.  He’s missing the EXPERIENCE!

That’s right, for all you who thought David was a pure and holy man…I caught him SLEEPING during the sermon.  Haha.

No but seriously, the experience was so foreign to me now, that it was really hard for me to truly appreciate it.  Most of the 800 or so people that were there, trickled in during the last 5 minutes before it started, and left immediately after the “experience” was done.  There is NO “hanging out”, “praying for each other”, “seeing how everyone was”.  Nope.  People just sat through a band performance, a “nice little sermon”, and then left.  No one was challenged.  No one was kept accountable.  Did anyone even know more than 5 other people in the room?

On top of ALL that, there was only ONE pretty girl in the whole crowd.  Gosh.  Why else would I go to church except find a pretty girl to look at.  HAHAHA.  Okay I’m totally kidding about this one.  I was worshipping God…*nervous laugh*.  Maybe I’m being a little bit too vulnerable with you guys. 

No but seriously…I have nothing against the traditional church layout.  In many cases, I have seen it do wonders-there is a benefit of having a multitude of people in the same room.  There is a “power” in having hundreds and even thousands of people worshipping God all in one accord.  But within that…I believe we have lost ALL concepts of familial values in the church system.  God had placed it on the fathers and the mothers to pour into their “children”, and “teach them to obey” the laws and the precepts.  But now, all the fathers and mothers are too busy with their own agenda, their own lives, their own ambitions.  They simply “throw them” into the “Sunday Worship Experience”, and pray that they learn something of value.  Then, when things are going wrong, they blame the “church” for their lack of “not having a good program…”, which only causes the hiring of more professionals, the spending of more money on equipment, building bigger buildings…

It’s no wonder that this nation’s youth is jaded.  I’ve heard a report that most of the youth in this nation are indifferent to the 23 Korean Missionaries that have been abducted by the Taliban.  The sentiment here is “why waste our tax payer money, and why ruin the reputation of Korea internationally!  It’s their fault they went there!”  I see that Korea, just as much as America, through the lack of real family spiritual community, has ended up very much like the US. 

I know this last tidbit was a bit cynical, and a little harsh on the traditional church.  I want to clarify here that I REALLY have nothing against traditional church, and in fact, I know that the problem is not with the structure but with the people.  I may even be called to go BACK to the traditional church for revival’s sake!  But at the same time…I simply pray that someday, even the traditional church would do more than simply flock a bunch of people together for the sake of an “experience”, and would expand beyond the buildings and the walls!  Do we NEED such a great program when we have Jesus?  Isn’t it enough to KNOW HIM? 

This is the “I have been simple churched” side of my speaking.  I dearly miss you all in Passion Church, and can’t wait to be back with you this coming fall!  With that…I am out.

Heels: The Short Man’s Kryptonite

Today, instead of writing the mundane, boring, ritual updates (that are far too common with things such as this) on my trip to Korea, I decided instead to spice it up a bit by inviting you all into the inner depths of my ever thinking mind.  First and foremost, I want to warn you people that a lot of the contents of my article will be mostly for pure entertainment, and most of the jokes and gests are not REALLY what I think, but more a means of evoking a measure of laughter from my audience.  However…I guess, as the old saying goes, “there is some truth to every lie”.  And perhaps, just perhaps…this may be so.  That’s for you to decide.  But honestly…please don’t take the things I am going to blog right now too seriously, especially in posts like this.  It’s really meant to be more of a joke than a matter of fact.  So let’s have some fun…

The first thing I have to say is that there are COUPLES EVERYWHERE!  Korea is a single man’s worst nightmare–everywhere you look, girls and guys, guys and girls.  Just for fun, I once decided to count the number of couples that I could visibly see within the course of ONE block, and I counted 24!  24 in the span of literally 5 minutes.  Hand in hand, arm in arm, side by side, making out…I’ve never seen anything like it, except, perhaps at “The Grove”.  It’s seriously nuts! 

But I also have to say that all the “pre-hype” about the looks of the girls in Korea was swiftly and painstakingly destroyed on the very first day I really walked around Korea.  I am a sad man to report that there are VERY few girls I would pass off as pretty here in Korea…and trust me…this is MORE displeasing to me than to you!  I had such high expectations…such high hopes of David Chung’s promise to “find me a wife” to be fulfilled while I was here.  Oh, but alas, my hopes and dreams are shattered.  The truth is, even the very few beautiful girls here carry themselves with an aura of defiant arrogance…it’s quite unappealing, actually. 

It’s not that I walk around everywhere with my eyes looking everywhere, to and fro for any pretty girl.  No…it’s more like my eyes are WILDLY looking  EVERYWHERE to and fro for a beautiful girl!  I don’t even resort to the normal “peripheral tactics” (don’t even ACT like you don’t know what i’m talking about!!!).    AND THERE IS NOT A SINGLE GIRL ON SITE!  It’s like going to a candy shop, looking for your favorite candy, and to your utter dismay and horror, THE CANDY isn’t there!  Ah!  Do you settle for the less than satisfactory alternative?  Or do you traverse to the other candy stores in hopes of finding your hearts desires?

And even still!  Heels are the short man’s KRYPTONITE!  Oh man, they said the national height of girls here is only 5′5″, which, for a 5′6″ (5′7″ if I’m lying) man is manageable…What they DON’T TELL YOU, however is that EVERY girl here wears an additional 4 inches on their HEELS!  AH!  Even the ones that are deemed pretty and acceptable TOWER ABOVE me, like giants…AH!

How am I to approach a girl 2 inches taller than I am?  And not even a TRUE two inches, but artificial.  I have a newfound respect for Tom Cruise…Nicole Kidman was at least 3 heads taller than him.  Woe is me…I am no famous actor.

In fact, so far the only beings that have checked me out in this desolate and barren country are MEN.  That’s right.  I get COMPLIMENTS FROM MEN.  Now I know what it feels like to be Caleb…I’ve never felt so violated, so naked…what if they were UNDRESSING ME…with their eyes?  The HORROR! 

My fashion also sticks out like a sore thumb.  I thought my tactful and “strategic” shopping before leaving to Korea, the whole 300 dollars of it, would somehow save me inspite of my horrible fashion sense–oh man, was I wrong.  And woefully so!  Everyone here dresses like they belong in magazines–except almost all of their faces would never make it (harsh, I know).  Guys and girls alike!  (Ask Jane).  Jane was checking out all the guys of korea.  HAH.  Girls cannot JUDGE me for checking out the girls here because JANE WAS CHECKING OUT THE GUYS.  And come on…it’s human nature.  You just…peripherally (in my case, blatantly) check people out in new environments. 

The reality is–only my shoes fit in.  My converse, low top chucks…they are the ONLY thing in my whole fashion arsenal that come CLOSE to fitting in.  But they fit in TOO much!  EVERYONE HAS THEM!  Yesterday, while walking around, I saw at least 20 people wearing the same shoes.  In fact, someone I met a couple days ago BOUGHT fake $15 ones from a local swapmeet called “Two Star” instead of Converse.  Perhaps I should buy myself some heels…

And for now…this is what I post on.  Just random blabberings, nothing too serious, but a tandem of comical thoughts I often think to myself while wandering the streets of Korea.  There are things much more serious that I think while walking around, especially of the obvious and apparent demise of Christianity, a jaded youth that very much rivals that of America, and the ever so apparent depression all around me.  But those things are for another day, cause I think perhaps the transition from that to this would be a bit rough around the edges.

No…those posts are for another day.  Today…I end with this. 

Heels are definitely a short man’s kryptonite.

The Motherland

I made it.  And let me tell you I learned some really important lessons on air travel.  Lesson number one…DO NOT EVER.  EVER Take multiple carriers for a trip.  OMG.  They lost my bags TWO times now, AND on top of that, I almost missed my flight to Korea because my flight from Kansas City got delayed 1 hour. 

Basically, multi carrier means you take two separate travel companies for a trip.  Like, for me, I took midwest for part of my trip, then took Asiana Airlines..

Don’t ever do this because it is the worst experience you will ever have in your life.  Wow. 

Anyways, I love my family here that I’ve met for the first time.  They are very spunky adn energetic, all of them.  I’ll make sure to take some pictures at some point.  hahaha.

anyways I’m about to eat breakfast, then take care of a lot of stuff, and will be hanging out with JP and David Chung tomorrow nie.  Hope you ugys are all well.