Burning Out

I’ve honestly been nearing burn out so many times these days, and I feel overwhelmed by the magnitude of everything that constantly needs to get done, and the weight of responsibility of being a “revivalist”. Not only that, but I feel so rushed to do everything and have everything figured out immediately–if somehow I don’t “get it” I’m going to MISS OUT ON revival and OMG it’s going to be my fault and I failed . Furthermore, there’s so many prophetic words that revival is going to happen NOW and it makes me feel even more urgent and even more burden…OMG! It’s now! I have to do more! I have to pray more, i have to blah more and this more and ah more and GAH. (can you tell that I’m stressed yet? hahaha).

As all of this is constantly stressing me out every single day, there’s been one thing that God’s been speaking to me so loudly and so clearly, and I know that it’s not just for me. So I send out this e-mail to all you would be revivalists, and I simply say one thing: It’s okay if we don’t see revival. It’s okay if we don’t see revival this year. It’s okay. Even if we don’t see revival in our lifetimes, it’s okay. Let go. This is a God thing, and not a “me thing”. We can’t fathom it. Abraham couldn’t fathom how he could have offspring equal to the number of stars…and he didn’t even SEE it in his lifetime. But he simply trusted God. He trusted God even to the point where he would kill his OWN son.

Dude…I’m 23 years old and I live like I’m freaking 40 years old. I feel like if I don’t have my life together and figured out RIGHT NOW then I have somehow failed in God’s plan for me. But that’s the point…I’M ONLY 23!!!! and a lot of you guys who are receiving this email are YOUNGER still. Let’s enjoy being 23! Let’s enjoy the journey, the process the learning, the sorrows, the pain, the hardships, the FAILURES, the victories–it’s okay if we don’t see revival. It’s okay if we don’t have this whole simple church thing all figured out. It’s okay if we don’t see CPM…it’s okay if we don’t see an explosion of churches on our university campuses…quite frankly, my point is, if nothing happens this whole year…it’s okay!

Within this I am in no way saying we shouldn’t strive for excellence. Furthermore, I am NOT saying we shouldn’t contend for revival. We should desperately contend, and we should desperately contend for God. But if it does not come, it’s okay! Let that free you from the oppression of feeling like you have to accomplish something. We’re all learning right now as we go…there’s SO much we haven’t figured out, and that’s the way it’s going to be for the rest of our lives…and you know what. That’s okay. Because God is the one teaching and leading us…He is our shepherd and our guide…so it’s okay! We’re going to be sanctified till the day we die…as Neil says, we don’t graduate from learning until we die. And that’s the truth. So instead of feeling bad about what we’re not, and constantly trying to guilt trip ourselves into being more and more each day, let’s trust God and believe that He’s in control…and that as we submit more of ourselves to Him, He’s going to begin taking care of us, and taking care of revival in EVERY single way. He’s the ONLY one that can do it. We should DEFINITELY “Pray as it all depends on God and live as if it all depends on us”, but within that…if nothing happens…it’s okay. It’s not about your success. It’s not about revival. It’s not about church planting movements. It’s about love…selfless love. It’s about relationship.

Let’s do the things we do excellently. Let’s pursue our passions and the God given passions with our whole hearts. Let’s GO OUT THERE and contend for REVIVAL but NOT for REVIVAL’S SAKE, not to “fulfill” a prophecy, not to validate a ministry, not to feel like we’ve accomplished something great…but BECAUSE THERE ARE BROKEN PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO DESPERATELY NEED JESUS. This is a BROKEN WORLD. Turn on the news, Virginia Tech. OMG!? I couldn’t even believe it. Genocides, murders, terrorists, drug addicts, abusive fathers…this world we live in is such a broken place.

I want God because He’s the only one that can satisfy. I want revival because He’s the only one that can satisfy THEM. Who gives a freaking rip about being successful…and I guess that’s what I’m getting at. Let the things you do be an expression of your selfless love–your desire for you to deny yourself, and to seek diligently after God…and not for the purpose of “being successful”. Let the things you are be the expression of your desire to diligently and passionately pursue after the heart of God, and the character of God, instead of to fulfill a ministry function, or to fulfill the quota of what it means to be a true revivalist. We all need success. But let’s wrap our minds and our hearts around the concept of selfless love, which is something as a generation we NEED to recapture.

Authenticity. My heart cries for this.

I end with this, it’s a dream that Crystal sent me a little while ago and I think it really sums up everything so well…

“I just had a dream last night driving on the freeway, and i saw you driving too. Somehow we were able to communicate and I asked you where you were heading, you replied, very philosophically: “I’m not sure. but it’s okay. we are all going to the same place in the end.” Then we ended up on a big bus going somewhere together, and I don’t remember anything after that. I don’t usually have dreams like that. I’m not sure what it means, but I woke up wanting to thank you for sharing last night.”

We’re all going to the same place and…we’ve already won. So it’s okay. Even if we don’t know where the heck we’re going…it’s okay.